So what should you expect on your first trip to a nude or clothing optional beach? Well, it’s a trip to the beach and that’s always fun right? But let’s be honest, you’ll be a little uncomfortable at first but that’s natural when you do anything for the first time. After going to many nude or clothing optional beaches with my wife, here our are observations of most couples when they go to a nude beach for the very first time.
They usually are overdressed wearing tennis shoes, bathing suits, sarong or other cover up, hat, and t-shirts, while carrying towels and beach bags. While this may sound normal to people going to a non-nude or textile beach, most nude beach veterans actually bring and wear very little. Most wear as little as possible and slip out of it as soon as they can. If my wife even wears a bikini, it’s usually a barely there, Wicked Weasel thong bikini or more likely a skirt and t-shirt with nothing on underneath. For me, it’s a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Less to carry and easier to put on and take off as needed.
Next if the new couple isn’t wearing sunglasses, you’ll actually see their eyes bug out looking down the beach at all of the naked bodies. Yup, you’re not in Kansas any more, but while it will be foreign and a little uncomfortable, that will pass. You’ll see a lot of firsts on your visit.
For one, all bodies are not “10s,” and that’s okay. The best nude body on a beach is your nude body. Be comfortable because you’ll see so many different people and everyone fits in. Tall, short, fat, skinny, young and old. Secondly, if you thought people had obvious tattoos with their clothes on, you should see what they’ve been hiding. The same is true of piercings. I had no idea what could be pierced until I went to a nude beach. Painful describes a lot of it, but I don’t judge. Finally, and yes we get this question a lot, many nude beach regulars are shaved down there or very trim. Regardless of whatever your hair is like down there, you’re fine. It’s all personal choice and expression.
What you should learn from this is that regardless of how many tattoos or piercings you do or don’t have, pubic hair styled or shaved, penis length or boob size, skinny or fat, you won’t stand out at all because everyone is different and when it’s all on display, most people really don’t notice or care. The sooner you’re comfortable with your and your spouse’s body, the more enjoyable the experience. That’s not to say that people won’t be watching you, especially when you first arrive but they watch because it’s funny. Here’s what I mean.
Next our first time couple generally wanders around on the beach for 5 to 15 minutes trying to find the perfect spot that’s not too close to everyone, but not too far away from everyone and certainly not surrounded by too many single guys. They’ll check one spot and then another and the entire time trying hard not to make eye contact with any of the naked people sitting, walking and talking around them.
For future reference, look for groups of people who appear to be regulars on the beach. Don’t go for the party crowd but look for other couples grouped together. How do you know they’re regulars? No tan lines is an obvious giveaway. They’ll probably give you space but will be friendly and answer any questions or loan you a bottle opener if you need one. You’ll find that nude beaches have some of the friendliest and most social people you’ll ever meet, and the ones you really want to meet will respect you and your spouse while you’re getting used to the beach.
Next, when the new couple finally finds a spot, they’ll layout their towels and gradually take off their shirts and shorts, while strategically placing bags, coolers and other items around them. My suggestion, block the wind because nothing is worse than being pelted with sand.
When the couple finally finds their place in the sun and sits down, they realize the moment has arrived. They look like gophers with their heads darting around to see who is watching them or if anyone is staring. You can see the stress in their eyes and on their faces.
Now one of two things happens, either he stands up while she sits down on a towel and he quickly pulls down this bathing suit and sets it aside. This is the let it all hang out method and it’s the fastest and easiest way to get started because you’ll quickly realize as soon as you take your suit off, no one is really watching or interested. I have never seen a woman do this first. It’s always the man who does this while she turns multiple shades of red.
Or and this is more common, the couple sits on their towels and begin playing a game of truth or dare. They stare at everyone around them and then at each other to decide who will take off their suit first. You can almost hear them debating and you can see their nervousness. From here it’s a toss up on who will shed their clothes first, but if he does first, he immediately turns over on to his stomach. If she does, she’ll usually take off her bikini top slowly and then looks around to see if anyone is watching. Then she’ll either sit topless for awhile or she’ll remove her bikini bottoms and then turn over onto her stomach too.
So what happens next? Once they both start breathing again and realize there aren’t any spotlights shining on them, they relax and calm down. Before long they’re flipping over and laying on their backs or starting to people watch and trust me there are interesting people on a nude beach.
Usually within a few hours, they’ll be running down to the water and swimming or walking down the beach in the surf. It’s trying everything you love to do on a beach, except naked. It’s this moment when the shock and anxiety wear off and you sit with your spouse and you’re warm all over enjoying a day at the beach and you question why this was such a big thing in your mind.
What I just shared with you is what we’ve seen from many trips to the beach over the past 25 years. That first trip to a nude beach should be special. Remember, it will only be our first time once so plan to relax and enjoy it. You’ll probably wish you had done this sooner.
So what can go wrong on your first trip to a nude beach? Well first, remember to cover up and I do mean sunblock. When parts of your body that have never been kissed by the sun are, it leaves a lasting impression such as the worst sun burn you’ve ever had. And when couples hit the euphoria why haven’t I done this before stage, the last thing they’re thinking about is sunblock. Please use it and lots of it.
Second, if I’m a guy and I get excited what do I do? First off, this has happened to me once and that was only because I was reading a book that had a rather intense sex scene. I was shocked when I realized I was becoming physically excited so I flipped over onto my stomach and kept reading till it was gone. If this does happen, take a minute to flip over and relax. This to shall pass.
Finally, and this does happen, what do I do when lots of gawking men sit uncomfortably close to us? The best nude beaches are public beaches and you will see guys with no shame who wander around (usually clothed) gawking at every woman on the beach. Sometimes they sit down or position themselves in a rather uncomfortable angle for maximum viewing.
Remember, this is your day in the sun and ask them to move. If they don’t, talk to a life guard. Don’t let them ruin your day at the beach. This is why I recommend sitting near regulars and/or other couples. These gawkers tend to stay away from the regulars or large groups because they are often well known by these people and are afraid to get too close.
We’ll cover in future posts my favorite public nude beaches but this is all you really need to know to get started. What was your first visit like? Or are you planning your first visit right now? Let us know what questions you have. My favorite nude beach is Haulover in Miami. It’s a wonderful beach with great sand, waves and only minutes from the night life, shopping and restaurants of South Beach. On the Haulover website, they have a section on what to expect on your first visit and nude beach etiquette. It’s very well done. More to come on that later too!
Questions, thoughts, concerns? Let us know. Happy to provide insights and reviews.