The Only Place to Escape Body Shaming: A Nude Beach

Image is from article on ET Online: http://www.etonline.com/fashion/153293_victoria_secret_slammed_for_perfect_body_campaign_topshop_accused_of_body_shaming/

The only place I know of to escape body shaming is a nude beach, resort or campground. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? The only place to escape the unrealistic and material ideas of the perfect body is a place where your total body is on display.  Let me explain.

My wife and I have been going on nude vacations for more than 20 years. We started on our honeymoon to Bora Bora. While there aren’t any recognized nude beaches in French Polynesia, topless sunbathing and swimming is the norm. My wife was in her mid-20s and thoroughly enjoyed swimming, sunning and walking the beach without her bikini top on. I certainly didn’t mind either. To me, she is beautiful and even more so when she isn’t wearing anything to cover up.

From there we have been to many nude beaches, resorts and B&B’s. We’ve learned that when we’re nude, we’re relaxed and comfortable. For me, I can’t think of a better place than when I’m drenched in sunshine and warm all over and my wife is next to me. It is an incredible feeling to go skinny dipping in the ocean or walking on the beach in the buff with the sunshine warming us all over. We’ve met many friendly couples. All naked and all as comfortable with themselves as we are.

We’re into the final countdown before we head into a much needed tropical vacation.  Almost on cue, the weather has turned wintry in the Midwest U.S. The temperatures are the only thing falling as fast as the snow. It’s time to travel to a tropical resort and get naked. I can’t wait to get to Jamaica and to get warm all over.

My wife just returned from the store. She was looking for a sundress she could wear from our room at the resort to the nude beach and pool. I’m told it is a quick walk. I was surprised she needed a new sundress and asked why she didn’t just go naked underneath or just wear her thong bikini under her dress. That’s not what she was worried about.

While I am convinced my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world, clothed or naked, her biggest frustration with her body is her breasts. My wife is slender and lean. She wears a size 34 A cup bra. Her breasts, are not large and full and are dominated by her nipples. I say she looks great. She says she has the chest of a boy. While she likes being topless or naked on a nude beach or resort, she wants the extra padding that today’s bras provide while wearing her clothes. She doesn’t want other women or men to judge her.

Body-Shaming-body-types
Real bodies are beautiful. Love your body and love yourself! Image from the blog: http://blog.spylight.com/lets-follow-lauren-conrads-lead-and-ban-body-shaming/

Many women have the same hang ups with their bodies as my wife. Too short. Too fat. Too tall. Too skinny. Breasts not big enough. Hips too big. Breasts too big. Butt not big enough. The quest for the perfect body is punctuated by the media and Hollywood celebrities every day who have had so much work, their bodies are more fiction than fact.

It’s odd to me that my wife can be totally naked and be at peace with her body but when she wears clothes, it’s all about hiding her perceived blemishes. I know why though. Since we started going to nude resorts and beaches, we’ve learned that when you’re nude, you’re totally open. And most of the other couples we’ve met while on the beach or at the resort are equally comfortable with themselves. (It’s funny. The only time I’m uncomfortable is when someone is wearing clothing and I’m naked.) That’s one of the reasons I like going to nude places. Real, honest people who care less about what you look like and are more interested in who you are and where you’re from.

Very few people know we go on nude vacations. The few that do all ask the same questions, “Isn’t everyone fat?” or “See any 1o’s there?” In all honestly, what we see is real people who enjoy being naked and enjoy their bodies just the way they are. In many cases, they are just like us. Wonderfully average. They’re from all walks of life. Some are older. Some are younger. Some are gay. Some are grandparents. Some are tattooed and pierced in places I didn’t know could have body art or jewelry. Others clearly have never been in a nude social environment and I’m sure by looking at their tan lines, they’ve never been naked outside before. I’ve also seen many courageous, nude people. Here’s what I mean:

  • The cute, older couple we met at Hidden Beach Resort who played in the pool like teenagers. She had had a double mastectomy.
  • A heavier couple who saw us skinny dipping on the beach in Tulum, Mexico. They didn’t stare. They smiled. When we saw them later on they were walking hand-in-hand and totally naked in the waves.
  • The very pregnant woman and her husband at Haulover Beach in Miami who looked like she was ready to go into labor atany minute. She was probably larger than she would ever be in her life but she was smiling, warm and comfortable. She was awesomely beautiful.
  • And the young college couple that wandered on Orient Beach in St. Maartin from a cruise ship. They looked out of place at first. He was naked and trying to make sure she was comfortable. She was very nervous and appeared to be comparing her body to every woman on the beach. I could hear him trying to encouraging her by telling her she was as beautiful as any woman  with or without her bathing suit. Throughout the day she slowly took off her bikini top and later her bottoms. By the end of the day, they were splashing in the waves and holding hands walking down the beach.

The next time you think of an open and safe place to be yourself with your spouse, consider a nude place. You’ll find that it isn’t about seeing other naked people or comparing your body to their’s. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting of others. It’s getting to know your own body and realizing just how beautiful it is. It’s practicing body acceptance for yourself and the people around you. Most importantly, it’s a judge free zone. And, spending time with your spouse naked is a great way to reconnect and relax. It really is a beautiful thing.

Here is an article from the website YesandYes.org about the authors trip to a nudist resort and how it helped her love her body. I love it. I think you will too. She hits on exactly the key points I’m making in my blog article. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

Make it a Happy Nude Year for Her

Photo credit from the blog Better Than Surviving

So is one of your New Year’s resolutions to go topless on a beach? Or are you thinking of adding skinny dipping to your bucket list? How about taking a nude vacation aka nakation? There is no better time than 2016 to see what visiting a nude beach or resort really feels like. It’s not what you expect.

My wife and I have been writing this blog for more than two years now. We’ve detailed our experiences visiting nude and clothing optional resorts, B&B, beaches and clubs all over the U.S., Mexico, South Pacific and Caribbean. Our time naked on vacation is some of the best quality time we have together. It’s fun. It’s relaxing. It’s great we time. It’s very romantic but not in a sexual way. I’ll explain more later. And our blog is here to help and encourage other couples to give it a try.

I was reviewing the search terms people use to find our blog over the past year and a lot of them are related to what to expect at a nude beach or resort and about convincing wives and girlfriends to give it a try….

  • How do I convince my wife to try a nude beach?
  • How do we try a nude beach?
  • Wife worried about sunbathing topless
  • What are nude beaches/resorts like for women?

Going back 20 years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) had the same apprehensions about going to a nude beach. She liked the idea of being naked outside with me, but was concerned about the people we would meet and other women and men viewing and rating her body.

From what I’ve seen and heard from my own wife over the years, these are all honest questions and concerns. To someone who hasn’t been topless or nude on a beach, the thought of being completely naked and exposed and happy and comfortable seems impossible. It’s really not.

For any husband or boyfriend who would like to visit a nude beach or resort with their spouse, here is some advice from my wife and me. The key is to ensure it’s a safe and relaxing place so she (and you) can become comfortable with your nakedness. Here are our tips:

Talk. Have an open and honest discussion about sunbathing nude, going topless or skinny dipping. Why do you want to do it and what’s to be gained by doing it? We have found it’s a wonderful shared experience. It’s a thrill like the first time you hold hands or kiss.

Never surprise your wife with a trip to a nude beach or resort without discussing it first. Chances are she’ll say she likes the thought of being naked with you, it’s just the other people at the beach or resort who will see her that she is uncomfortable with. That’s an honest concern and until you’ve tried it, you don’t realize that it’s really not about other people. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin. So how do you do that? Here is a blog we wrote on the talk before you drop your swimsuit.

couple in water
Spending time together nude can be the ultimate romantic getawway. Image from A well traveled woman on Tumblr.

 

Have a Plan. Maybe a trip to a nude resort isn’t the best first step. Perhaps a better solution is going to a resort that allows topless sunbathing or has a nude beach. Or go to a clothing optional beach and bare as much as you want until you’re comfortable with taking your bathing suit off. For example, the Couples Resorts in Jamaica all offer sections where women can sunbath topless or couples can be nude for swimming or sunbathing. Or go to a nude beach like Haulover in Miami or Black’s Beach in San Diego.  These are recognized nude beaches, patrolled by police with lifeguards and volunteers to ensure a fun and safe environment.

Take Your Time. This is probably the most important piece of advice my wife shared . If you’re at a resort that offers a nude or topless section, find a spot where you have space and can be comfortable together. Don’t worry about anyone else. Just concentrate on one another. It should be romantic time for the two of you.

If you’re at a nude public beach, it’s best not to stray too far away from everyone. Better yet, look for other couples and set up 10-15 yards from them.  Before long you’ll have your own safe space and then do what you’d normally do. Set up your towel or beach chairs. Put up the umbrella. Get out your tanning lotion and sun glasses. The key here is to be comfortable in your space by the beach or pool.

Ease into Being Naked. If you’re at a resort and want to try going topless, take off your bikini top and put on suntan lotion. It will feel odd and a little scary at first. If you’re feeling too anxious, then turn over on to your stomach and give yourself time to get comfortable. Don’t worry about who is watching. From our experience, the only time anyone ever really notices you on a nude beach is when you’re still wearing clothing. Chances are no one is watching at all. Once you’re naked, you really just blend in. From our experience, if you’re at the nude section of the resort the best thing to do is not to think about it. Drop your bathing suit, lie down on your chair or towel and relax. Again, lay on your stomach if you’re too nervous (we’ve all seen butts before, right?). If you’re at a nude beach, take off your bathing suit as you choose to do it.

Here is the Key: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin. From our experience of watching couples do this countless times, one of two things happens next. She or he can’t get comfortable. They try to but it’s obvious that they aren’t enjoying this experience at all. It’s anything but romantic. They usually last for an hour or less and then put on their swim suits and leave. There is nothing wrong with this. Nude recreation isn’t for everyone. That’s okay. Not everyone likes football or baseball either. You gave it a shot.

The other option is that the two of you have fun. You get comfortable with being naked outside together. You feel the warmth of the sun. You decide to jump in the pool or go skinny dipping in the ocean. Or go for a walk on the beach. It goes from being an odd foreign experience to one that is empowering, liberating, FUN and very romantic. Often a transformation takes place. While the initial thought of being naked outside where other people could see you caused a lot of stress and anxiety, after the first day you’ll find yourself wanting to get to the beach or pool sooner and to stay longer because it’s such a wonderful feeling of openness and togetherness. There is a thrill because you’re enjoying it together.

It’s at this point that you’ll see it’s not a sexual experience. I’d be lying to you if I told you that seeing my wife laying out on the beach or walking around the pool naked isn’t a turn on to me. It is but not physically. It’s mental. To me, she is still the most beautiful woman in the world and seeing her like this only adds to her beauty. The resorts and beaches I mentioned all have strict policies against public sexual touching and intimacy. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but there are rules and people who will enforce it if they see it. From our experience, this shouldn’t be one of your concerns.

Often times it takes a few times to get comfortable. A couple we met on a nude beach in Hawaii told us they had been going to nude beaches for years but she would only go topless and only if no one else was nearby. Finally she decided that her husband looked great naked and she wanted to join him. When we were in St. Martin last year, a couple sat down next to us on Orient Beach. They had gotten off a cruise ship and it was obvious they had a plan. He immediately striped while she took more time to get comfortable. When she pulled off her sarong, she was wearing one of the smallest thong bikinis I had ever seen. She spent the day wearing her thong bikini while her husband was nude. They had a blast. She was comfortable and they had fun together. Even my wife still will wear a towel around her waist when we first arrive at a resort. She doesn’t mind going topless but wear it to cover up when she goes to the beach bar or back to our room. Usually by the end of the day, she has dropped the towel and is now comfortable walking around the beach or pool nude.

I don’t envy my wife or other women. The stigma tied to body shape and how a “good” girl is supposed to act in public is overwhelming. Perhaps the most upsetting emails I’ve received are from women who believe they are too fat or their breasts are too small or they’re not pretty enough to spend time on a nude beach. I’m very sorry for them. It shouldn’t be like this. These are powerful mental roadblocks that some women will never overcome.

So support your wife and respect her. By making this a shared experience and by concentrating on her and letting her decide what to do next, we believe the two of you will discover that being naked together outside is one of the most enriching and thrilling experiences you can have together. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been together six months or 50 years, my wife and I still get excited when we first take off our bathing suits and relax together on a warm, sunny beach.

Here is a blog post that a couple sent to me after reading our blog. Note that they went to the Hedonism Resort in Jamaica which does allow public sexual contact. My wife and I would never go there because that’s not our idea of fun, but that’s us.

I’ve shared our thoughts and experiences. I’d like to hear yours. Especially if you’re a woman who enjoys nude recreation and travel or are still considering it. Great post

 

 

 

 

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Clothes, No Problem! Five Reasons to Go on a Naked Vacation

 

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So what is a nude vacation or nakation really like? Well for starters it’s a lot of fun and a wonderful way to relax and enjoy time with your spouse. Couples go on beach vacations all the time for together time and to leave the stress of work, kids and life at home. So why not leave your bikini and swimming shorts at home too and discover why so many couples have found nude vacations to be the ultimate, secret getaway.

My wife and I have been going on nude vacations and getaways for nearly 20 years now, yet I wouldn’t call us nudist. We have learned that vacationing in the buff is a wonderful way to enjoy our time together and relax. And yes, it is better because we’re both naked. Let me explain.

Nudity is never an issue unless it is an issue and then it’s the only issue.

If you’ve never taken off your bathing suit on a beach or untied your bikini top and bottom at a pool then nudity is an issue because you’ve never been nude socially before. I’ll be honest, taking off your clothing in front of others can be very scary and anxious. It also can be fun and exciting. Talk to any couple at a nude beach or resort and they’ll tell you that they were nervous the first time too. You will be nervous for a bit but once you get past this feeling, you’ll start to feel something wonderful: freedom, relaxation and warmth. Once you’ve tried it, chances are you’ll like it and even look forward to taking your clothes off next time. A transformation takes place as you become more comfortable with your naked self and your naked spouse. It’s hard to describe but most couple wish they had done it years before.

A nude beach or resort is relaxed, warm and comfortable. Not sexual. 

The biggest myth of nude resorts and beaches is that it is a highly sexual environment. It actually isn’t sexual at all. It’s relaxed. It’s warm. It’s comfortable. It’s fun. In fact, most nude resorts have policies against any type of sexual contact or intimacy that is strictly enforced. There is a time and place for everything and on a beach or by a pool surrounded by other naked couples isn’t it.  This isn’t to say that I don’t feel a certain spark when I see my beautiful wife take off her bikini or admire her walking on the beach with nothing on.  That’s one of the reasons it’s special for us, but admiring your spouse isn’t foreplay. However enjoying each other’s company later in the privacy of your own room after spending the day naked is a wonderful way to end the day.

People just like you go on nude vacations every day.

So do people like you go on nude vacations? That depends on if you’re fun, open and enjoy being naked with your spouse around others. We’ve met many wonderful couples at each and every beach and resort we’ve been to over the years. It’s amazing, when you meet someone and you’re both naked, the conversation is far more open, honest and friendly. In fact, we’ve found most of the couples we’ve met while on nude getaways are very much like us. They are highly educated or students, professionals and home makers, republicans and democrats, moms and dads, community leaders, students, newly weds, retirees…  The point is they are just people who enjoy vacationing with their spouse or partner without wearing any clothing and they are open to talking with other couples who are there enjoying themselves too.

Nude beaches and resorts are wonderful places to visit.

How many times have you been on vacation in a tropical setting with a beautiful beach or pool, warm sun and blue sky, great food and drink, incredible amenities and breathtaking views and asked yourself, “How could this be any better?” Make the beach or resort nude or clothing optional and it just got better.

Funny that removing something from paradise can actually make it better. For us, it really is a state of mind that we only feel when we’re together in a nude setting. We’ve taken walks on the beach in swim suits a million times but walk the beach in the buff and it’s a very comfortable and warm shared experience. If I go skinny dipping in the waves or layout on a raft with my wife naked in a pool, I feel like a teenager all over again.

So what’s the perfect nude vacation for a first timer?

Nude vacations are as individual as you and your spouse are. They can be relaxed and refreshing or adventurous and loud. Perhaps the most important question is determining first where you want to go: a nude beach or resort?  Many couples are nervous about baring it all for the first time on vacation, which is why a nude beach might be a better option.

Nude beaches are bare as much as you dare or better yet, take off your bathing suit as you’re more comfortable. My wife and I have been to numerous nude beaches and it’s fascinating to watch first time couples get comfortable with shedding their suits. You’re not in Kansas any more Dorothy. Most first timers are a little nervous and take time to take off their suits but by the end of the day, they’re usually the Mayors of the beach — running around and playing naked in the waves. If you want to know more about what to expect on a nude beach, check out our earlier blog on the topic. 

Maybe you and your spouse are comfortable already with being nude around others. Or maybe you want a pool instead of a beach. Or you want to pack a week’s worth of clothing in a carry on. Either way you will love a nude resort. It’s everything you would look for in a tropical resort vacation, except no clothing required (except in restaurants). Nude resorts make life very easy for you while you’re on vacation. My wife and I love being catered to and when we’re on a nude vacation and all we have to do is get there and the rest is provided for us, it doesn’t get any better. You don’t need to bring a lot of clothing or extras. Resort staff take care of everything from drinks to food to entertainment. All you and your spouse have to do is enjoy your time together splashing in the water, sitting by the pool or having a beer at the bar and all of this without a stitch on. To learn more about what to expect at a nude resort, check out our earlier blog on the topic.

So are you ready to go? Before you book your trip, remember to talk to your spouse first. As I mentioned before, public or social nudity is a big issue for most people until they try it and see what it’s really like. Don’t ever surprise your spouse with a nude vacation. That’s a recipe for disaster. 

And remember, a trip to Couples in Jamaica is very different from a trip to Club Orient in St. Maartin to Hedonism II in Jamaica. Check out their websites and you’ll see what I mean.  It’s important to find a place where you can enjoy your time together in the nude and feel comfortable. Remember, planning the trip should be almost as much fun as being there.

Have questions? Have concerns? Got a point to share with others? Did we forget something? Let us know your thoughts. We’re here to give you the best information possible to plan a perfect naked vacation. Have fun. And don’t forget to bring lots of tanning lotion or sun screen. It’s amazing how quickly you burn in spots that have never seen the sun before. 🙂