How it all Started: Our First Time Naked on a Beach

Many times I’ve received questions from couples interested in exploring nude recreation asking how my wife and I got started. They want to know if we were nervous? What concerns we had prior to dropping her swim suits and what we thought afterwards.

This is actually our first blog post. I thought I would share it again and add a few thoughts too. If you’re reading this and interested in learning more about social nudity and what it could be like for you and your spouse, read on. If you’ve already discovered the Nudist Secret… that spending time together naked is safe, refreshing, relaxing, exciting and fun, please share with me how you and your spouse first decided to take the nude plunge.

 

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In 1996, me and my then girlfriend (now wife) first ventured on to a clothing optional beach. We went to Black’s Beach outside of San Diego and for the very first time ever, took off our bathing suits and our inhibitions.  As we marched down the cliff trail from the Torrey Pines parking lot to the sandy beach below, we both wondered why we were making this trip?  Why go against everything our parents had every told us about the importance of covering up, wearing a bathing suit and never revealing too much skin. We were both 25-years old and while we were free spirits, we had never done anything like this before.

So we found our spot on the beach, laid out our towels and looked at each other… it was the moment of truth. I pulled off my t-shirt and then as if in slow motion, pulled down my swim suit and watched it hit the ground. There I was, standing completely naked, outside for the first time in my adult life and feeling more exposed and naked than I had ever felt before. My girlfriend made a nervous laugh and said I was looking a little cold too. My manhood and I were both cold and shy at that moment. It was not your typical sunny and 75-degree California day. While the sun was shining, it was windy and chilly. I no longer had any fears about getting physically excited.

My girlfriend sat down on her towel and then untied her black bikini top and carefully pulled off her bottoms. She folded them up and put them back in her bag. Even naked she is as tidy as ever.

There we were. Naked. Outside. For the first time. Ever. And it wasn’t at all what we thought it would be like. We lasted about an hour before we agreed the cold wind was too much to take, especially when you had only a towel to keep warm. We didn’t see lot of hard, bronzed bodies walking the beach showing perfect bodies that day. The few women I saw reminded me of ex-hippies who while naked and fine with it, looked like blobs of silly putty sitting in the sun. Care free and happy but the men, they were a different story. By far the men were in much better shape and many walked by our sandy outpost to see the two of us with our blinding tan lines. While at first I thought I needed to protect my girlfriend from their wandering eyes, she quickly pointed out that we had found our perfect spot in the sun on the gay section of Black’s Beach.

 

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While far from a perfect day, we both agreed the experience had been thrilling and the feeling of sunshine all over our bodies was amazing. Why had we thought this was wrong? When we had gotten over our sense of fear and anxiety, we found we felt great and that it was an amazing experience for us as a couple. While not sexual, it was intimate. Besides, how could 100 gay, naked men lying in the sun be wrong? We still laugh about it today.

That was nearly 20 years ago. What started as a fun hour or later on an afternoon, has turned into days and weeks for us on vacation and often with all of our clothing stored in carry-on luggage. Finding the perfect nude beach, clothing optional pool, nude resort, or clothing-free B&B has been a wonderful journey for us and we have shared many great times, met wonderful people and have many good memories. Simply put, some of these destinations are wonderful to visit. They’re beautiful settings with surf, sand and great food and drinks.

 

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So again, why a blog about nude travel? When we started visiting clothing optional destinations, there was often very little information to guide us. We literally got hurt many times walking down trails that doubled as mud slides to reach beautiful secluded beaches where we could get an all-over tan with other likeminded people. Since then, the internet has become a treasure trove of information for the closet nudist or want to be skinny dipper but I’m surprised at how often when I’m looking for travel information about a clothing optional destination, all I see is highly sexual images and behavior that is best saved for the bedroom. I honestly don’t want others who are interested in discovering this side of themselves and sharing it with their significant others to be turned off by what they believe happens when swimming suits are set aside. We don’t become crazed wild animals only interested in sex and foreplay on the beach. Not to say that you don’t need to be careful, but that’s where I believe we can help you out so that it’s a positive experience.

From what we’ve seen, most couples discover clothing optional travel when they are in their 40s and beyond. I’m thankful we figured it out in our mid-20s, but we weren’t the norm at all and we really didn’t embrace nude travel till we were into our 30s. We still find we’re often the youngest couple at the resort or on the beach and we’re into our 40s now. Thankfully that’s beginning to change. Our last trip to Hidden Beach Resort had many young 30s couples.

My vision for this blog is to share our experiences as we got more comfortable with being naked by ourselves and later with others and to tell you about the places we have visited and why we did or didn’t go back. By offering honest information, I hope we can be a resource to others with questions and hopefully give the push another couple might need to try this out and see if it’s for them.

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So are my wife and I nudists? I guess so. Although naturists applies better to us. We enjoy bonding with the environment around us without clothing. So are we normal? We live in the midwest in a nice suburb surrounded by friends and family who know nothing about where we travel or why. We are parents and business people. We are active in our community. We are very normal and probably very boring to many people out there. We don’t sit around the house naked or plant trees in our backyard so we can lay out nude on our patio.  We only recently started going to a local nudist club so we could lay out and enjoy the sun and take a cool relaxing dip in the pool when we had some free time. We’re not members. Just visitors. We don’t bring our children. This time is for us to share and I’d like our children to discover how it feels to be naked on their own.

Interested in hearing more or am I boring you already? Well, let me tell you where we’ve gone and where we’ve been naked. The list is long: Tahiti, Cancun, Tulum, St. Martin, Grenada, Palm Springs, San Diego, South Beach, New Orleans, Toronto, and beaches, clubs and skinny dipping spots across North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida.

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So what won’t we talk about… Sex and sexual intimacy in a nudist environment. Nudity does not mean sex or foreplay or touching. That’s a misconception. A big misconception. I’m not saying that spending time nude together with your spouse or partner might not stir some exciting moments later, but it is not appropriate to do this in the open. Especially on a clothing optional beach or nudist club or property. Ever.

We have a lot to share. We will share with you the naked truth about being naked. It’s been a wonderful experience for us. Enjoy the ride. And let us know what questions you have. And again, if you’ve got a first time experience (especially if you’re a woman), we’d love to hear about it and potentially share with other couples on a future blog post.

Many of the images used for this post I found on https://www.reddit.com/r/naturists/. If any of these images were shared on reddit. To my knowledge, none of the images are copyright protected. However, please let me know otherwise. 

 

 

 

Nudist Reality vs. Cancelled Calgary Nude Swimming Event

It’s 2018 and the community that wears a swimsuit in the pool or ocean has a long way to go to understand the nudist lifestyle and values  Recently the city of Calgary cancelled a nude swimming event planned for an indoor swimming/recreation facility sponsored by the group Calgary Nude Recreation. This wasn’t the first time a nudist group had rented a city of Calgary owned facility for an event and it won’t be the last either. Unfortunately this time, public outcry and threats of violence pushed city officials to cancel the event. An online petition supported by more than 22,000 people framed the argument against the event stating the following concerns:

“I respect the concept and believe in an 18+ setting it could be a popular event. However, having naked children around a bunch of naked adults doesnt seem like a good idea for any reason. Realistically there is alot of mental illness out there that this event could trigger/effect.

– Children with previous sexual abuse traumas will be heavily effected if they attend the event.

– Sexual predators will be on the prowl – having an event like that is just like Christmas to them.

– Extremely high chance of photos and videos being taken without consent, considered child pornography”

Oddly the event was cancelled not because the city had issue with nudity at a city owned facility but because of threats of violence against participants and organizers. Let’s get violent to protect children?

To me, the outcry about this event and the stated objectives demonstrate the misinformation and misdirected concerns from individuals who have probably never attended a nude/clothing optional event or facility. It’s reading about this petition that makes me believe that nudists really are the enlightened ones. The nudist community understands firsthand the importance of protecting children from sexual predators as well as maintaining privacy.

For the record, both the clothed and nudist communities agree that protecting children from sexual predators is most important. Everyone’s priorities are inline and where they should be on this. Just as important to the nudist community is ensuring that no photography of any kind is taken of anyone nude – adults or childern. And finally, no displays of sexual intimacy or sexual touching in anyway.

Anyone who has read our blog knows it is focused on helping couples learn more about exploring the benefits of social nudity and nude recreation. As we’ve stated many times, nudity does not mean sex. For those who have never been to a nude beach, resort or B&B, walking around with other naked people might seem like an erotic and sexually charged environment. In reality, it’s anything but that.

There is a time and a place for sexual intimacy and that’s in the privacy of your own home and not in the open…. ever. This is a point that every nudist I’ve ever met believes and values. Every nudist resort and club I’ve attended has rules similar to those from the Calgary Nude Recreation organization.

From our experiences regardless if it’s a nude beach or nudist club, everyone there watches and protects the children there very closely. The nudist clubs my wife and I attend require everyone to submit to a background check to root out sexual offenders before they ever enter and yes, our local club confirmed to me that they bar entry to people every year. In addition, everyone who visits must leave their mobile phone/camera in the car. No exceptions. Privacy and protection are important and essential in a nude environment.

Yes there are sexual predators out there and I’m sure there are some in the nudist community too. Unlike in the general community though, safeguards are in place to ensure these deviants are identified. The reality is that nudists are very aware of their vulnerable state and that of unknowing or unprotected children and adults. We don’t need the concerned citizens of Calgary or anyone else to tell us how to protect our children and ourselves.

For me and my wife, our  nudist lifestyle is about freedom. Freedom from judgement and/or body shaming. Freedom from clothing and labeling who I am and what I believe just by the clothing and “brands” I wear. Freedom to be one with nature and our surroundings. Freedom from stress. Free to be happy with ourselves and our friends and family. It’s a feeling you can only feel in a nude social setting.

I feel this freedom everytime I set foot into a nudist property or clothing optional beach. It starts the moment I take off my clothing and feel the warm of the sun on my body. Believe me, this is a freedom worth protecting and that includes watching out for vulnerable people among us.

While my wife and I are parents, we have never brought our children to a nudist property or a clothing optional beach. For us, it’s about our time together and less about entertaining them. It’s our special time although we often see children at the nudist clubs we attend and the clothing optional beaches we have visited.

Honestly, I never thought about sharing our love for nudism with our children until a few years ago. We were at a nudist club near our home. It was late afternoon on a hot July day and my wife and I were sitting by the pool reading and enjoying the sun. A young girl was practicing swimming underwater from her mother to her father. All were naked in the pool. This young couple and their daughter were repeating a scene I have seen many times throughout my life. Only this time, without any swimsuits. It was perfectly natural and honestly it was beautiful to see.

Une premiere by Anders Zorn (1888)
Anders Zorn [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
While I respect the concerns from those who signed the petition against the nude swimming event, I don’t believe it would be a hunting ground for sexal preditors but rather a setting where families are safe and able to share time together, just without a swimming suit.

We have a long way to go to educate the reality of nudism and its benefits for all.