How it all Started: Our First Time Naked on a Beach

Many times I’ve received questions from couples interested in exploring nude recreation asking how my wife and I got started. They want to know if we were nervous? What concerns we had prior to dropping her swim suits and what we thought afterwards.

This is actually our first blog post. I thought I would share it again and add a few thoughts too. If you’re reading this and interested in learning more about social nudity and what it could be like for you and your spouse, read on. If you’ve already discovered the Nudist Secret… that spending time together naked is safe, refreshing, relaxing, exciting and fun, please share with me how you and your spouse first decided to take the nude plunge.

 

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In 1996, me and my then girlfriend (now wife) first ventured on to a clothing optional beach. We went to Black’s Beach outside of San Diego and for the very first time ever, took off our bathing suits and our inhibitions.  As we marched down the cliff trail from the Torrey Pines parking lot to the sandy beach below, we both wondered why we were making this trip?  Why go against everything our parents had every told us about the importance of covering up, wearing a bathing suit and never revealing too much skin. We were both 25-years old and while we were free spirits, we had never done anything like this before.

So we found our spot on the beach, laid out our towels and looked at each other… it was the moment of truth. I pulled off my t-shirt and then as if in slow motion, pulled down my swim suit and watched it hit the ground. There I was, standing completely naked, outside for the first time in my adult life and feeling more exposed and naked than I had ever felt before. My girlfriend made a nervous laugh and said I was looking a little cold too. My manhood and I were both cold and shy at that moment. It was not your typical sunny and 75-degree California day. While the sun was shining, it was windy and chilly. I no longer had any fears about getting physically excited.

My girlfriend sat down on her towel and then untied her black bikini top and carefully pulled off her bottoms. She folded them up and put them back in her bag. Even naked she is as tidy as ever.

There we were. Naked. Outside. For the first time. Ever. And it wasn’t at all what we thought it would be like. We lasted about an hour before we agreed the cold wind was too much to take, especially when you had only a towel to keep warm. We didn’t see lot of hard, bronzed bodies walking the beach showing perfect bodies that day. The few women I saw reminded me of ex-hippies who while naked and fine with it, looked like blobs of silly putty sitting in the sun. Care free and happy but the men, they were a different story. By far the men were in much better shape and many walked by our sandy outpost to see the two of us with our blinding tan lines. While at first I thought I needed to protect my girlfriend from their wandering eyes, she quickly pointed out that we had found our perfect spot in the sun on the gay section of Black’s Beach.

 

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While far from a perfect day, we both agreed the experience had been thrilling and the feeling of sunshine all over our bodies was amazing. Why had we thought this was wrong? When we had gotten over our sense of fear and anxiety, we found we felt great and that it was an amazing experience for us as a couple. While not sexual, it was intimate. Besides, how could 100 gay, naked men lying in the sun be wrong? We still laugh about it today.

That was nearly 20 years ago. What started as a fun hour or later on an afternoon, has turned into days and weeks for us on vacation and often with all of our clothing stored in carry-on luggage. Finding the perfect nude beach, clothing optional pool, nude resort, or clothing-free B&B has been a wonderful journey for us and we have shared many great times, met wonderful people and have many good memories. Simply put, some of these destinations are wonderful to visit. They’re beautiful settings with surf, sand and great food and drinks.

 

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So again, why a blog about nude travel? When we started visiting clothing optional destinations, there was often very little information to guide us. We literally got hurt many times walking down trails that doubled as mud slides to reach beautiful secluded beaches where we could get an all-over tan with other likeminded people. Since then, the internet has become a treasure trove of information for the closet nudist or want to be skinny dipper but I’m surprised at how often when I’m looking for travel information about a clothing optional destination, all I see is highly sexual images and behavior that is best saved for the bedroom. I honestly don’t want others who are interested in discovering this side of themselves and sharing it with their significant others to be turned off by what they believe happens when swimming suits are set aside. We don’t become crazed wild animals only interested in sex and foreplay on the beach. Not to say that you don’t need to be careful, but that’s where I believe we can help you out so that it’s a positive experience.

From what we’ve seen, most couples discover clothing optional travel when they are in their 40s and beyond. I’m thankful we figured it out in our mid-20s, but we weren’t the norm at all and we really didn’t embrace nude travel till we were into our 30s. We still find we’re often the youngest couple at the resort or on the beach and we’re into our 40s now. Thankfully that’s beginning to change. Our last trip to Hidden Beach Resort had many young 30s couples.

My vision for this blog is to share our experiences as we got more comfortable with being naked by ourselves and later with others and to tell you about the places we have visited and why we did or didn’t go back. By offering honest information, I hope we can be a resource to others with questions and hopefully give the push another couple might need to try this out and see if it’s for them.

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So are my wife and I nudists? I guess so. Although naturists applies better to us. We enjoy bonding with the environment around us without clothing. So are we normal? We live in the midwest in a nice suburb surrounded by friends and family who know nothing about where we travel or why. We are parents and business people. We are active in our community. We are very normal and probably very boring to many people out there. We don’t sit around the house naked or plant trees in our backyard so we can lay out nude on our patio.  We only recently started going to a local nudist club so we could lay out and enjoy the sun and take a cool relaxing dip in the pool when we had some free time. We’re not members. Just visitors. We don’t bring our children. This time is for us to share and I’d like our children to discover how it feels to be naked on their own.

Interested in hearing more or am I boring you already? Well, let me tell you where we’ve gone and where we’ve been naked. The list is long: Tahiti, Cancun, Tulum, St. Martin, Grenada, Palm Springs, San Diego, South Beach, New Orleans, Toronto, and beaches, clubs and skinny dipping spots across North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Florida.

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So what won’t we talk about… Sex and sexual intimacy in a nudist environment. Nudity does not mean sex or foreplay or touching. That’s a misconception. A big misconception. I’m not saying that spending time nude together with your spouse or partner might not stir some exciting moments later, but it is not appropriate to do this in the open. Especially on a clothing optional beach or nudist club or property. Ever.

We have a lot to share. We will share with you the naked truth about being naked. It’s been a wonderful experience for us. Enjoy the ride. And let us know what questions you have. And again, if you’ve got a first time experience (especially if you’re a woman), we’d love to hear about it and potentially share with other couples on a future blog post.

Many of the images used for this post I found on https://www.reddit.com/r/naturists/. If any of these images were shared on reddit. To my knowledge, none of the images are copyright protected. However, please let me know otherwise. 

 

 

 

New Mexico Hot Springs Perfect for First-Time Couples to Spring into Social Nudity

 

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What could be better than soaking naked in the San Antonio Hot Springs in New Mexico?

So what’s the perfect way to relax and literally soak in Mother Nature and all of her beauty? There is no better place to take it all off and try nude recreation than a hot spring. It is the perfect low/no stress environment to see what getting naked in nature really feels like for you and your significant other.

Earlier this summer we published an updated list of activities to do naked with your spouse or significant other. These were from readers of our first blog post on the topic who made suggestions of activities they would recommend. One of those suggestions was soaking in a wilderness hot spring. I added it to my list and after visiting one in New Mexico, I would recommend it to anyone. It’s like having your own hot tub but so much better.

 

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Hot clear water washing over my feet. Does it get any better?

I was visiting Santa Fe on business and had an extra day. Rather than stay in town, which is tempting because it’s a really great city to explore, I decided to see what hikes were recommended in the mountains. I quickly discovered that New Mexico is known for many amazing hot springs including several with fantastically scenic hikes to reach them and most of them clothing optional (you can be naked, topless or in your swimming suit… the choice is your’s).

The hot springs I read about really were all different. Some were very remote and hard to reach, while others were right off main roads and very crowded. Some had been purchased and turned into spas, while others were “trashed” by tourists and locals. Here is a list I found very helpful.

The one hot springs I kept reading about that appealed to me the most was the San Antonio Hot Springs. It features an amazingly scenic and beautiful five-mile hike by a creek up a canyon. The hike goes over a variety of landscapes but you’re climbing with every step up the canyon. The views are amazing.

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There is no better way to experience nature and be free than taking it all off and soaking in a hot spring

I did the hike in early October and it was warm. I did it in late afternoon/early evening because I wanted to sit out and watch the stars fill the sky (bring a flashlight). The hike will take between 1.5-2.5 hours or however long it will take you to walk five miles up hill. Bring water. There is no water available on the hike. The hike alone was the highlight of my day, but that’s when I got to the hot springs.

The hike ends after passing an abandoned barn and cabin with four beautiful pools of water cascading down a hillside overlooking the creek and cliffs of the canyon. A hot spring fills the top pool and the water flows from one to the next. The top pool is 105 F and the temperature falls with each pool.

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Four soaking pools to enjoy – all at different temperatures – at the San Antonio Hot Springs

I was alone when I got to the springs. I took off my clothing and jumped into the top pool and enjoyed the soak while looking out at the cliffs, stream and the forest all around me. The water was crystal clear and actually a bit too warm for me. After 15 minutes, I had to take a seat on the rocks surrounding the pool to cool off. Sitting in the hot springs with stunning natural surrounding all around is an amazing feeling. The water is unbelievably comfortable and the four pools have sand bottoms so you can sit in them without the pain of a rock pinching your bottom.

I would call the San Antonio hot springs a little gem hidden in the New Mexico wilderness. You’ve really got to want to be there because it’s not an easy hike to it. From what I saw online, the springs can be very crowded. The area around the hot springs  was a little beat up from the summer hiking season, but I found very little trash. The hot spring pools themselves were wonderfully maintained.

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Looking up at the San Antonio Hot Springs.

I stayed and soaked for nearly two hours, watching the sunset give way to the stars. It was an unbelievable night. My only complaints were that my wife wasn’t with me to enjoy it and that I was the only one there. The best part of social nudity is just that… social. I have yet to meet another person or couple nude in a hot tub that I didn’t enjoy talking with and sharing stories. While I was there for me, I would have enjoyed talking to other people too.

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Hot 105F degree water coming out of the mountain and into the pools at San Antonio Hot Springs in New Mexico

Sound like something you might want to try? I’m sure you have questions.

First off, there is nothing more wonderful than getting naked with your significant other on a beach, pool or in this case, hot springs. While you’ll be anxious at first, most people quickly realize that it really feels great. You’ll feel “exposed” and uncomfortable for a few minutes. Once the, “Are we crazy, what are we doing feeling wears off,” you’ll feel very comfortable and actually will get a rush from it. Sound cliche I know, but you’ll feel free, open and once the anxiety wears off, really good. And yes, because every guy asks about this, it isn’t uncommon to get an erection the first time you watch your significant other get naked. It will pass. Simply put a towel over your penis till it calms down or jump in the water and relaxi. This too shall pass. We recommend either going early or late to avoid other people. Just be prepared with a flashlight, etc.

As a side note, while we wrote this blog post for couples, if you’re a single woman who wants to try a nude hot spring, Christine Garvin’s article is excellent: “How to Approach Clothing Optional Hot Springs Around the World.” Give it a read.

Second, while I’m sure most couples who have never tried social nudity would want to be by themselves to start, if another couple or group of people are there already and naked, don’t worry about it. Just take your time and do what feels right. From our experiences most guys are all for getting naked and skinny dipping. It might take a little time for your wife/girlfriend to get comfortable. Step into the pool and relax. Once she feels comfortable (and she probably will but on her time frame) let her decide if she wants to take off her bikini top or drop her bathing suit completely. Be encouraging but not demanding. Let it be a shared experience and I promise you, it will be relaxing and fun for both of you.

 

So what do you do if there are other people there and they aren’t naked? Well, the decision is yours. Nudity is legal on U.S. Park Service lands so you are breaking no laws. Do what you’re comfortable with. We’ve been doing this for years and I have no problem taking my clothing off in a place where it is legal and recognized as clothing optional. That said, if someone was there with children, I would ask how much longer they were going to be there to see if we could wait them out or tell them that we intend on using the hot springs naked and discussing where we want to be and where they are. Again, the choice is yours. You’re in control.

I can tell you from what we’ve seen if there are other couples there with their bathing suits on, usually the other couples are waiting for someone to break the “nude” ice. This is what I mean. Read this Yelp Review of the San Antonio Hot Springs from Anthony J, “The three pools are out in the open on a hill side. If you are lucky like we were we saw some nudist in the springs. They were quick to get out and put on bathing suits when they saw us, but when we got to the pools they were very nice. We all had some really good conversation. After an hour of talking we all decided to go skinny dipping. The women were mid 30s and my friends and I were early 20s. That was the first time I’ve ever gone skinny dipping, and it was very enjoyable.” This happens a lot. Nudity is a big deal until you experience it and find it’s not a big deal at all.

We had something similar happen the first time we went to a very small, clothing optional beach in St. Maartin. There were four other younger 20/30 something aged couples, all in their bathing suits and bikinis on the beach when we arrived. As soon as we laid out our towels, I dropped my bathing suit and went skinny dipping in the ocean. By the time I got back to my wife, she had already taken her bikini top off and five minutes later put her bikini bottoms in her bag for safe keeping. By the time I had gotten out of the ocean for my swim, half the guys had already taken off their bathing suits and one woman her top. Within 30 minutes of my wife taking off her bikini and the two of us jumping in the ocean, all four couples were naked. By the time we left the beach, the four other couples were playing in the waves and walking down the beach in the buff like they had done it all their lives. The beach actually became pretty crowded and everyone was naked. This is a long example, but I’m surprised at how often all it takes is just one couple to get naked and everyone joins in.

Finally, and this is really important, so wouldn’t this hot spring be a wonderful place for romance, especially since you’re both naked already?

Nudity does not equal sex. All nudist will tell you one of the first surprises of social nudity is that while it can be romantic for you and your spouse, it isn’t a sexually charged environment. There is a time and place for everything and intimate touching and sex should be done in private, NOT in the open. If you’re lucky enough to have your own private pool or hot tub, go at it. But if you’re in a public place (beach, resort or in this case hot spring), it is a big no-no! Don’t ruin it for others (including families) that may surprise you by jumping in the hot spring while the two of you are getting hot. Sorry, it’s not acceptable.

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Sun setting over the San Antonio Hot Springs

So are you interested in trying a hot spring for you and your significant other? There are clothing optional hot springs in Arizona, California, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Oregon to name a few locations. There are a lot of reviews and locations.  Some have been commercialized and you can rent your own private pool to be naked in or simply away from others. For the San Antonio Hot Springs, the address is: Forest Rd 376 (4 Miles N of FR 126) Jemez Springs, NM 87025. There is no cell phone service in this area.

More importantly, since I’m new to hot springs, if you have been to one and would recommend it as a great first time place for others to try social nudity, please send us a review and your thoughts on why it was a great first time experience for you both.

As anyone who has read our blog before knows, my wife and I are big supporters of enjoying nude vacations and getaways. For more than 20 years, we’ve found our clothing optional trips and adventures to be wonderful shared experiences for the two of us. To a couple who has never tried it before, it’s not what you would initially expect. It should be fun, exciting, freeing and relaxing. It is romantic too, but not sexual.

We started our blog nearly three years ago to encourage, answer questions and provide honest information and support to other couples who are interested in taking a nakation or trading their bathing suits for their birthday suits on an upcoming trip. We’ve found our trips to be very relaxing, romantic and freeing. It really has been a wonderful experience for us and potentially for you too.

Everyday our blog receives visits from 300-500 people interested in learning more. We invite and encourage you to ask questions. There are wonderful beaches to visit, clothing optional resorts to enjoy and completely nude vacations to discover. Please read our blog and let us know your questions and more importantly, share where you would recommend other couples go and what it was like for you.

Enjoy the soak!

The Only Place to Escape Body Shaming: A Nude Beach

Image is from article on ET Online: http://www.etonline.com/fashion/153293_victoria_secret_slammed_for_perfect_body_campaign_topshop_accused_of_body_shaming/

The only place I know of to escape body shaming is a nude beach, resort or campground. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? The only place to escape the unrealistic and material ideas of the perfect body is a place where your total body is on display.  Let me explain.

My wife and I have been going on nude vacations for more than 20 years. We started on our honeymoon to Bora Bora. While there aren’t any recognized nude beaches in French Polynesia, topless sunbathing and swimming is the norm. My wife was in her mid-20s and thoroughly enjoyed swimming, sunning and walking the beach without her bikini top on. I certainly didn’t mind either. To me, she is beautiful and even more so when she isn’t wearing anything to cover up.

From there we have been to many nude beaches, resorts and B&B’s. We’ve learned that when we’re nude, we’re relaxed and comfortable. For me, I can’t think of a better place than when I’m drenched in sunshine and warm all over and my wife is next to me. It is an incredible feeling to go skinny dipping in the ocean or walking on the beach in the buff with the sunshine warming us all over. We’ve met many friendly couples. All naked and all as comfortable with themselves as we are.

We’re into the final countdown before we head into a much needed tropical vacation.  Almost on cue, the weather has turned wintry in the Midwest U.S. The temperatures are the only thing falling as fast as the snow. It’s time to travel to a tropical resort and get naked. I can’t wait to get to Jamaica and to get warm all over.

My wife just returned from the store. She was looking for a sundress she could wear from our room at the resort to the nude beach and pool. I’m told it is a quick walk. I was surprised she needed a new sundress and asked why she didn’t just go naked underneath or just wear her thong bikini under her dress. That’s not what she was worried about.

While I am convinced my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world, clothed or naked, her biggest frustration with her body is her breasts. My wife is slender and lean. She wears a size 34 A cup bra. Her breasts, are not large and full and are dominated by her nipples. I say she looks great. She says she has the chest of a boy. While she likes being topless or naked on a nude beach or resort, she wants the extra padding that today’s bras provide while wearing her clothes. She doesn’t want other women or men to judge her.

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Real bodies are beautiful. Love your body and love yourself! Image from the blog: http://blog.spylight.com/lets-follow-lauren-conrads-lead-and-ban-body-shaming/

Many women have the same hang ups with their bodies as my wife. Too short. Too fat. Too tall. Too skinny. Breasts not big enough. Hips too big. Breasts too big. Butt not big enough. The quest for the perfect body is punctuated by the media and Hollywood celebrities every day who have had so much work, their bodies are more fiction than fact.

It’s odd to me that my wife can be totally naked and be at peace with her body but when she wears clothes, it’s all about hiding her perceived blemishes. I know why though. Since we started going to nude resorts and beaches, we’ve learned that when you’re nude, you’re totally open. And most of the other couples we’ve met while on the beach or at the resort are equally comfortable with themselves. (It’s funny. The only time I’m uncomfortable is when someone is wearing clothing and I’m naked.) That’s one of the reasons I like going to nude places. Real, honest people who care less about what you look like and are more interested in who you are and where you’re from.

Very few people know we go on nude vacations. The few that do all ask the same questions, “Isn’t everyone fat?” or “See any 1o’s there?” In all honestly, what we see is real people who enjoy being naked and enjoy their bodies just the way they are. In many cases, they are just like us. Wonderfully average. They’re from all walks of life. Some are older. Some are younger. Some are gay. Some are grandparents. Some are tattooed and pierced in places I didn’t know could have body art or jewelry. Others clearly have never been in a nude social environment and I’m sure by looking at their tan lines, they’ve never been naked outside before. I’ve also seen many courageous, nude people. Here’s what I mean:

  • The cute, older couple we met at Hidden Beach Resort who played in the pool like teenagers. She had had a double mastectomy.
  • A heavier couple who saw us skinny dipping on the beach in Tulum, Mexico. They didn’t stare. They smiled. When we saw them later on they were walking hand-in-hand and totally naked in the waves.
  • The very pregnant woman and her husband at Haulover Beach in Miami who looked like she was ready to go into labor atany minute. She was probably larger than she would ever be in her life but she was smiling, warm and comfortable. She was awesomely beautiful.
  • And the young college couple that wandered on Orient Beach in St. Maartin from a cruise ship. They looked out of place at first. He was naked and trying to make sure she was comfortable. She was very nervous and appeared to be comparing her body to every woman on the beach. I could hear him trying to encouraging her by telling her she was as beautiful as any woman  with or without her bathing suit. Throughout the day she slowly took off her bikini top and later her bottoms. By the end of the day, they were splashing in the waves and holding hands walking down the beach.

The next time you think of an open and safe place to be yourself with your spouse, consider a nude place. You’ll find that it isn’t about seeing other naked people or comparing your body to their’s. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting of others. It’s getting to know your own body and realizing just how beautiful it is. It’s practicing body acceptance for yourself and the people around you. Most importantly, it’s a judge free zone. And, spending time with your spouse naked is a great way to reconnect and relax. It really is a beautiful thing.

Here is an article from the website YesandYes.org about the authors trip to a nudist resort and how it helped her love her body. I love it. I think you will too. She hits on exactly the key points I’m making in my blog article. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

Is a Naked Body or a Partially Clothed Body More Sexual?

SI Cover Model Hannah Davis causing controversy
SI Cover Model Hannah Davis causing controversy

Meet Model Hannah Davis on the cover of the 2015 Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition. What do you think? Many are calling this cover photo “pornographic” and “too sexual.” This leads to an interesting question about which is more explicit: a man or woman wearing nothing at all or wearing very little?

After coming back from a week at Orient Beach in St. Maarten, I can honestly say I’ve been around hundreds of naked and partially clothed men and women. I’ll admit when my wife and I first started going to clothing optional beaches and resorts, I would have said that a naked body was more explicit than one covered by swim trunks or bikini. While it wasn’t a physical turn on to see my wife naked, it certainly was mentally. She looked then and still does today stunning with nothing on.

To me this is actually one of the many misconceptions about nude beaches and nudist resorts. Is the human body beautiful? Yes, it can be. Have I seen attractive women and men on a nude beach? Of course, but to be honest, the only times I’ve ever caught myself staring at someone is when they were wearing very little. As I saw at Orient Beach, the only time a couple attracted any attention from others was when they were clothed and often the barely there thongs and bikinis were far more explicit than a naked body.

I do understand that many women are more comfortable wearing a thong or small bikini. My wife included. When she was walking to the beach bar or bathroom, she wore a thong bikini that I bought for her specifically for this trip. Did she attract attention? I loved it but I have no idea if anyone else “noticed” her more in her thong than when she was naked.

This is a topic that is often discussed. So what do you think? This is just my opinion.  Here are several comments/suggestions that have been sent to me. Great thoughts and observations:

From A Naturist’s Lens @ http://skycladtherapy.wordpress.com
I agree with you that nearly nude is far more sexual than nude, especially in the context that one is aware of cloth touching intimately, highlighting that intimacy. Nudity is less so for both the person who would wear next to nothing and the person who sees next to nothing framing the zones of sexuality. Thanks for bringing up the topic. 🙂

From jochanaan1 @ http://jochanaan.wordpress.com
Context and body language are everything. You don’t expect sex in a nudist gathering or even on a nude beach; but you expect at least sensuality in a “strip club” or certain other events. And when we see nudity or near-nudity where we don’t expect it, as on the street, in a workplace, or on church, we don’t know what to expect, so our cultural conditioning starts up and we think sexual thoughts–at least for a moment. But, as many of us have found, what was conditioned in can be conditioned out. 🙂

From naturalian @ http://naturalian.wordpress.com

To me, having on very small garments like thongs or micro bikinis is far more suggestive than being completely naked – it concentrates the eye on the parts that are (just) concealed! That’s why I hate clothed beaches, all those scaps of different cloured cloth detract from the naturalness of the beach!

From Bruce @ http://www.sffb.com
As TA Wyner once said, “When bathing suits get tinier, the eye naturally goes straight to what is still covered. When people are naked, nakedness becomes natural, and eyes go straight to eyes.” The SI cover photo is clearly NOT pornographic. There is nothing sexual happening. The vagina and clitoris are still covered. It’s nothing but a big tease for guys to entice them to buy the mag. Sexy? Yes. Porn? Hell no.

Great points. What do you think?