Our Bodies Tell Stories – How One Woman Embraced Her Life’s Journey through Nudism

The following is a guest blog from my friend Charlotte (named changed). I have been looking for a firsthand woman’s perspective on trying nudism. We are good friend with Charlotte and her husband Carlos and she very willingingly wrote the blog post below. She hits on so many questions that women (and couples) struggle with when considering social nudity. And more importantly, the benefits of it, especially when your spouse is sitting naked right next to you. I’m proud of her. What a great blog.  Let us know what you think.

Raised in the Midwest, I never thought ditching your clothes in public could be an enjoyable pastime. Truthfully, I was never aware it was even an option. I had no preconceived notions or expectations about nudism. Growing up, my father taught me respect of all living things and led by example, going so far as to set live mouse traps for mice that wandered into our horse feed storage. These values significantly helped foster the carefree attitude I live by today – ‘Live and let live.’

Though I don’t consider myself a true nudist, I particularly enjoy baring it all on vacation and when our time allows. Several times during the summer, my husband and I will visit local nudist clubs and enjoy socializing with the crowds that gather there. And later this month, we will be enjoying a nude first for us – renting a private Caribbean villa with another couple who loves to be naked as much as we do.

My first experience with nudism was rather spontaneous. My husband Carlos and I began dating midsummer several years ago, excitedly and hurriedly falling in love, which was a surprise and uncharacteristic of us both. He was a lifelong bachelor and me, a recent divorcee. The almost immediate sense of security and comfort we found within each other allowed us to communicate candidly about everything, from our political views to some of our deepest revelations.

One conversation that seemed so innocent at the time now strikes me as my first introduction to nudism. After travel plans to the sunny island of Saint Martin were in the works, Carlos asked if I would ever try nude sunbathing, considering it is a popular activity on Saint Martin’s beaches. I paused and thought out loud, “I honestly have no idea.”

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Many people experience nudism by themselves first before experiencing it with friends or a spouse.

I recalled my days as a teenager, lying in the sun topless in my backyard. High school dances and tan lines are long-time foes. Privacy was ample in my backyard and the only risk of exposure was the occasional airplane flying overhead.

‘Stripping off my swimsuit in front of other people though? Would I have the courage?’ As I gave the idea more life, I asked, “Would you be ok with other men seeing me naked?”  Carlos said, “Of course,” without hesitation. In my naiveté, I struggled separating nudism from its sexual connotation. My only previous encounter with nudism was skinny dipping at a local quarry after a high school football game with several friends – girls and boys, one of whom I had a small crush on. The moonlight was scarce, which allowed us to shed our clothes without much fear of being seen jumping into the cool water. I shared my experience with Carlos, slightly nervous he may pass judgment, but he just smiled in sweet amusement. Our conversation digressed and we rambled about other things. We did not suggest nudism again until we were lying out at Happy Bay, a sandy and secluded beach on Saint Martin.

After dating a little less than a year, Carlos had proposed. Suddenly, we were engaged and jetting off to the Caribbean. Carlos’ confidence and enthusiasm were more reassuring, attractive and contagious than ever before. I couldn’t help but be swept away in his excitement as he showed me around his favorite island, drove us to his favorite beach, and carefully picked out a semi-secluded spot by the water. He poured us each a generous glass of red wine, and we sat on the beach soaking up the sun. Shortly after finishing our wine, in what seemed like one swift motion, Carlos slid down his swim shorts and reached over to untie my bikini top. I let the straps fall to the sand and without moving to stop him. He untied the string that was holding my bikini top somewhat in place. My eyes locked on his, and any sense of uneasiness was gone. He then rather sweetly and hopefully asked, “Will you slide off your bottoms too?” Without saying anything, I did and smiled.

 

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Petit Cayes beach on Saint Martin. A perfect beach to experience social nudity for the first time.

A wave of excitement immediately washed over me and with the rush, my senses became acutely aware of everything. I had never felt the sun’s warmth so completely or the ocean’s breeze so freely. A new sense of liberation consumed me. For several minutes, I just stared at the ocean in complete awe and shock.

No one was yelling at me to dress myself. No one was staring at me. No one seemed to notice or even care. As I looked around, it dawned on me we were not the only ones lying naked on the beach. How had I not noticed? Carlos interrupted my self-examination and asked if I would join him for a swim. Apprehension started to creep in. ‘Wait, I have to get up?  Surely people will stare.’ Carlos noted my hesitation and without words, offered me the reassurance and courage I needed. ‘So what if they stare?’

He stood up first and offered his hand, helping me off of my cloth sanctuary. For some reason, leaving my towel behind affirmed my display of public nudity. But with Carlos by my side, I had strength and courage I never had before. In no hurry, we walked down the beach holding hands and entered the warm ocean water for our first nude swim together. The water seemed to feel more slippery than I’d ever felt before and my body offered no resistance as I gracefully glided through the water. One single moment lasting no more than a few minutes had just completely opened my eyes to a new state of mindfulness.

The rest of the evening, I unleashed a fury of questions that had been brewing all day at the beach and Carlos shared his story and confirmed a few of my suspicions. This was not his first experience with nudism, but it was his first experience sharing it with someone he loved. Though it was not an overtly sexual experience for either of us, we shared a heightened degree of intimacy that brought our relationship to another level. I excitedly and curiously listened to Carlos share his prior experiences.

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The World Famous Orient Beach by Club Orient, Saint Martin

He first arrived to Saint Martin aboard a popular cruise ship. Walking along the shores of Orient Beach, he was one of the few American tourists who removed his shorts while walking the nude side of the beach. When I asked him why, his reply was simple, “It just seemed like fun!”

Enjoying the experience so much, he decided to visit a local nudist club. Coincidently, he ran into a coworker there. I can imagine the odds of this happening are extremely low. Within the nudist community, there is a healthy level of respect for privacy, and their meeting followed suit. Neither ever mentioned the incident at work and they remain friends today.

Not wanting to give up nudism, Carlos eventually returned to Saint Martin for a second time with his then-girlfriend. Together they explored more of the island, but for the entirety of the trip, she remained clothed. Curiously, I asked if it would bother him if I decided that nudism might not be for me. Carlos confidently insisted he would accept my decision, but my preferences would not change his own. I greatly appreciated the lack of pressure I felt in that moment. Carlos would love me no matter my decision and would continue to respect me. Ultimately, like my husband, unwinding anywhere au natural is just too much fun not to partake.

Since my first experience with nudism, my body has seen several changes. Carlos and I returned to the Caribbean for our honeymoon, both of us carrying a few extra pounds that came with the stress of planning a wedding and enjoying life a little too much.

The third time we left our swimsuits behind, I was 25-weeks pregnant and displaying a very recognizable baby bump. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the freedom of leaving behind my clothes. I have yet to find clothes that are truly comfortable for any expecting mother.

Shortly after delivering, we decided to visit a local nudist club, one that was new to both of us. I was three months postpartum, still carrying around extra weight from pregnancy, leaking breast milk and nursing my infant. Though I had reservations, I refused to let anything stand in my way of enjoying my life. As a new mom, I was unprepared for the amount of attention we would receive with such a young baby, but it allowed us to become more sociable and leave behind the isolation we previously maintained by nature of our Type B personalities.

After our visit, Carlos and I both shared a longing to return to Saint Martin. After the trip was already booked, we learned we were expecting. Again, I shed my swimsuit underneath the sun with a baby bump on display. To my surprise, I found my pregnancy, though fairly small at the time, to be quite a conversation starter. Strangers would congratulate us and ask the typical follow up questions.

In fact, it was this very topic that broke the ice and gave reason for small chit chat with someone who has since become very close friends of ours. As fate would have it, the man standing directly behind us in line during an Orient Beach Bar happy hour lives less than 10 minutes from our home. After quickly discovering the proximity of our homes, TC excitedly introduced us to his wife Mindy and we all immediately hit it off.

Upon our return, we stayed in contact. After finding time for a brief escape from busy schedules, we reconnected with TC and Mindy during the winter months over dinner. With like minded personalities and shared interests, it was easy to plan a couple visits to our local nudist clubs with them as soon as the summer weather allowed. Our friendship continues to flourish and has allowed us to try something new to all of us – share a private villa with another nudist couple.

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Too often, as women we criticize ourselves and each other. Our insecurities become motivating factors preventing us from doing things we once loved or may grow to love. In my neighborhood alone, even the most petite mother wears a very modest one-piece swimsuit at our neighborhood pool. Instead of celebrating our imperfect bodies, we regularly try to hide the things we detest – scars, stretch marks, cellulite, imperfect breasts, unwanted pounds, and the list goes on. Any idea of perfection is relentlessly brandished everywhere we turn – television, literature, advertisements, movies, pornography, etc. That quantifiable idea of perfection just doesn’t exist in the natural world.

I do not carry a perfect body. Simply put, I am quite average. My body still carries the extra weight brought on during pregnancy, my breasts aren’t as perky as they once were, cellulite has claimed many parts of my body, and my stomach has lost the tightness it once had before children. Physically, my body has transformed into something new with almost every nudist experience I have had, but each instance has given me the opportunity to confront a new set of insecurities and practice self-acceptance, an important concept I hope to pass to my own children.

Carlos has been incredibly patient and completely supportive throughout these life changes, putting up with my crying episodes (mostly hormonal) and not once shaming me if I felt the need to cover-up for whatever reason. Despite it all, one of the reasons I am still able to confidently strip down my clothes and walk down the beach for all to see is my ability to not just accept my body as it is, but celebrate it. I am a mother of three beautiful children, and I am proud that my body shows signs of motherhood. It’s the role I am proudest to fill. And though there are times I wish I had my pre-pregnancy body back, I am grateful that my experiences have made me stronger and more confident than I ever was when I was a size 2. I am happier now in my average body than I was then. I am more confident naked now than I was then. And with that confidence and those new life experiences, I have met some interesting people along the way and made a couple amazing friends.

All of our bodies tell stories. Each story is truly unique and deserves to be cherished by ourselves and respected by others. Don’t be afraid to share yours. The truly beautiful thing about nudism is the welcoming attitude and feelings of overwhelming acceptance. In my experiences, I have found the people who judge the most are often the ones wearing the most clothes. Perhaps they are afraid their insecurities will be noticed if they don’t first point out the flaws in others. Regardless of what others think, your opinion of yourself is the only one that truly matters and the only one you have the power to control.

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Some of our best experiences on vacation have been together on a nude beach.

If you’re thinking of trying nudism for the first time, go for it! If you’re single, what have you got to lose? If you’re married and hoping to convince your partner, sit down together and have an open and honest conversation. Leave judgments behind and listen to each other’s doubts, fears and insecurities with sincerity and respect. Accept that he or she might be hesitant or resistant. Explore each other’s fears and work to overcome them together. And absolutely do not forget to affirm your love for one another.

When I think of that summer with my husband, I’m reminded of a quote I once read:

“I want to live everything with the most density possible…I am so conscious that life might escape me at any moment, that everything has become keener and more distilled…I tell myself: All this happiness still, but for how long? So I devour life.” (What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind)

 Truly empowering words of wisdom to live by.

 

Jammin Naked in Jamaica: Couples Sans Souci Perfect for First Timers

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Enjoying the waves and the beach at Couples San Souci’s Au Natural Beach

My wife and I have been to nude beaches and resorts all over the United States, Mexico and the Caribbean. Somehow we missed Jamaica… until now. In late December we finally traveled to the Reggae Capital of the World and picked up a Red Stripe and pulled down our swimsuits. We relaxed in the hot sun and swam in the warm ocean. We believe Couples Sans Souci Resort is a perfect place to get naked with your spouse and if you haven’t done it before, it is a great place to try nude recreation for the first time.

I’m not sure why we hadn’t been to Jamaica until now. It’s not that we didn’t discuss it. Firefly Beach Cottages has been on our list for some time, although it has new ownership and I’m not sure if it’s still clothing optional.  I’ve read and heard a lot about Hedonism II, but that’s not our idea of fun. Couples Resorts and specifically the Sans Souci property caught our attention after I began reading in several travel forums that many couples had their first social nudity experience here. My wife and I are not nudist newbies, but our blog is all about encouraging couples who want to try nude recreation so we decided to give it a try.

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Is this romantic or what? Some of the views at Couples San Souci

While this blog isn’t about the total Couples Sans Souci resort experience (go to TripAdvisor if you want to learn more), we will tell you why we thought the Sans Souci resort complements its Au Natural Beach and Pool experience nicely.

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Mineral Pool at Couples San Souci

The resort was carved into the cliffs overlooking the ocean. It is older (more than 50+ years) and has been maintained beautifully. The landscaping, architecture and layout are very romantic. The restaurants, bars and pools all offer an excellent experience and variety. The rooms in the A and B buildings were renovated in 2015 and are very nice. You’re steps from the main beach and restaurants. If we did it again, we would request one of the rooms on the hillside because they are more private, have large balconies and have amazing ocean views. You can also sit and relax in the nude on your balcony without disturbing anyone or attracting any attention. This isn’t possible in the A or B buildings.

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The main beach and A and B Buildings at Couples San Souci

Couples Sans Souci is only for adults and attracts a lot of couples on their honeymoon, anniversary or just much needed time away. Did I mention it is very romantic? It really is and we would have had a great time here even if it didn’t have a nude beach and pool. But it does, which is why we went there.

Before I share our impressions and thoughts, I first want to mention why spending time together as a couple on a nude vacation can be such a rewarding and shared experience. If you’ve read our blog before, you know this but I believe it’s necessary to reinforce these points.

Think about how much time you and your spouse, significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. actually spend together. Now consider how much time you’re together naked. I’m not talking about sexual intimacy either. That’s a different experience which can become more intimate by spending time together nude but is not what happens at a nude beach or pool. There is a time and a place and sexual intimacy or touching is not appropriate outside of your bedroom at Couples Sans Souci.

I’m talking about the time for the two of you to relax and reconnect. It’s about looking at each other and seeing the person you’re in love with as the sun shines down on both of you. It’s a feeling of personal freedom and shared romance because you’re together and totally exposed. You feel a little naughty because you’re outside with other nude couples around you. But you feel warm, relaxed and at peace. To me, my wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. As beautiful as she is with her clothes on, she is even more stunning when she is completely naked relaxing in a beach chair, sunbathing, swimming in the pool or walking on the beach with me holding hands. We always have a wonderful experience together on our nude vacations, which is why we share with other interested couples so they know what to expect and what the experience is really like and what it isn’t.

So why do we believe Couples Sans Souci’s Au Natural beach and pool are the perfect place to try the nude experience for the first time? It’s like everything else in Jamaica, it’s laid back, it’s relaxed and it’s, “No problem, man.”

The Au Natural beach and pool is probably about 100 yards in length. There are chairs throughout the beach where you can have your own space to relax with your spouse in the sun or shade. Or if you’re more social, the pool area is fantastic with a hot tub, swim up bar, and restaurant to enjoy. Overall, the nude experience here compares very well with other places we’ve been to and it is a first class setting that is well maintained. It is a safe environment and is perfect for relaxing in the sun, talking with other couples, playing nude volleyball in the pool or just falling asleep in the sun.

So why would we recommend it to couples considering it for their first nude experience? The first time for anything often produces anxiety and fear. Taking off all of your clothing so that your spouse and everyone around you can see you can be a humbling and scary experience the first time you do it. However, the reward is the most relaxing and yet exhilarating feeling ever. Think of what you felt the first time you kissed someone. You’re happy and excited and yet still feel like you’re about to throw up. That’s what I’m talking about. 🙂

Here are the reasons we believe it is perfect for first time couples: you have lots of space and can relax and explore at your own pace. This is what I mean and our tips to making this a wonderful experience for both of you:

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Au Natural Beach at Couples San Souci

Get there early. The beach and pool officially open at 9. Get there at 8 or 8:30 and take your place on the beach where you’ll have space to set up and get comfortable. There might be a few other couples there but you’ll probably have much of it to yourself. It’s a much less stressful experience when the beach and pool aren’t filled with people. That will happen later in the day, but you’ll be ready for it.

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View from the Couples San Souci nude beach

Take it off. Take it all off. Don’t delay. Don’t debate. Just take off your swimsuit, lay out your towel, put on your suntan lotion (put it on now while you’re thinking about it; you do NOT want to burn) and get comfortable. It will feel odd at first. That’s fine.

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Looking down the Au Natural Beach at Couples San Souci

Enjoy the moment. You can only have one first time and this is it. You’ll feel a little crazy, but once you realize that no one is staring at you and that the world didn’t end, you’ll realize how good it feels to be warm all over and how wonderful it is to have your spouse at your side. It’s an incredible shared experience. Within 10 to 15 minutes, you’ll find that you’re starting to feel very comfortable and relaxed.

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Waiting for guests to arrive at the Au Natural Pool at Couples San Souci

Take your time. Yes, you’re now naked and showing your body. You’re getting comfortable. As time passes, more couples will come to the beach and pool. You’ll see them find their spots on the beach and you’ll hear them by the pool. You’ll see them take off their suits. You’ll see that everyone is wonderfully average and no one really stand out. It’s funny. Clothing and bathing suits make us stand out from the crowd. Take them off, and we all pretty much look the same. Here’s what I mean.

You’ll notice we come in all shapes and sizes. Some couples have tattoos; some couples have completely shaved their pubic areas while some are completely natural; some couples are pierced; some couples are old and others are younger; some couples are skinny while others are larger; some couples have surgery scars; and some women have fake breasts. You’ll see it all and it’s all okay. Also, don’t feel that you need to fit in. You don’t need to shave your pubic hair and don’t worry if you’re larger or have smaller breasts or a small penis or dramatic surgery scars or birth marks. It really is a body shaming free zone where no one stand out and every one is accepting.

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The beach and Au Natural bar/restaurant area at Couples San Souci

Explore and enjoy your time together. An amazing transformation takes place during your first time nude together. Your nakedness doesn’t matter. You’ll decide to get up and walk the beach together. Maybe jump into the ocean or venture over to the pool. Maybe it’s a quick trip down the beach at first where you pass another couple and exchange, “hello’s.”  You realize although your naked and their naked too, nothing feels odd. It’s strangely natural and feels right. (Never thought you’d say that did you, especially before you tried it?)

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Au Natural Pool and Swim Up Bar at Couples San Souci

Do what feels right. You’re having fun. In fact, you’re having a blast! Maybe you’ll decide to move to the pool and start talking with other couples. Maybe you’ll jump into a game of nude volleyball. Maybe you’ll go skinny dipping in the ocean. Maybe you’ll jump into the hot tub. Maybe you’ll go to the bar and try a mixed drink. You’ll be doing a lot of firsts today. Enjoy them. Or maybe you’ll spend your time together on the beach enjoying your time and never really mingle with the others. The choice is yours. It’s all okay and it’s up to you.

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The Spa at Couples San Souci

The biggest concern many couples shared about Couple Sans Souci’s nude area is that it isn’t clothing optional. It is nude. When you go to this area of the resort you must be with your spouse and you must take off all of your clothing. No topless. No gradually shed your suit. No exceptions. I know this can be very intimidating at first, but what you’ll find is that when everyone is nude, no one stands out. Honestly the only time I’m uncomfortable on a nude beach is when I’m around other people who are clothed. I’m exposed and they’re not. You’ll be surprised how quickly it feels natural to be without your clothing and around others who look the same. There is no judging. No staring.

Our other suggestion is not to wait till your last day to try the Au Natural beach. Countless couples mentioned they waited till their final day and then found they really enjoyed it and wished they tried it sooner. You’ll know within a few hours if you want to stay all day or go back to the other pools and beaches at San Souci. You’ll have a great time there too.

So there it is. We highly recommend Couples Resort Sans Souci as a wonderful nude experience for the couple trying it for the first time or for the experience nakationer who is looking to try a new resort.

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Sunset at the Au Natural Beach at Couples San Souci

What questions do you have? Been to Couples Sans Souci? What was your experience like? What other Jamaican resorts with nude areas would you recommend? We’d love to hear your thoughts, insights and questions. We can’t wait to go Jammin Naked in Jamaica!

 

 

 

 

Trading in Your Bathing Suit for your Birthday Suit: 10 Things to Do Naked with Your Spouse this Summer

 

Image from http://great-naked-outdoors.tumblr.com/
Image from http://great-naked-outdoors.tumblr.com/

Have you ever spent the day naked with your spouse? I’m not talking about laying in bed all day or taking a shower together naked. I’m talking about spending the day, as in outside, doing things together in the buff.

Sound crazy? It might if you’ve never been to a nude resort, club, campground or beach. I spent all day with my wife naked at a local nudist club this past weekend.  It was wonderful. We laid out in the sun, we went skinny dipping in the pool, we ate lunch together, we went on a hike and we talked with other couples enjoying the day the same way we were.

We laughed. We napped. We relaxed. And we did it all naked, outside on a sunny, warm day. In the nearly three years I’ve been writing this blog, by far and away the most asked question that brings visitors to our blog is some version of, “How do I convince my wife to go naked outside with me.” It might be a beach. It might be on vacation. It might be to a clothing optional club or resort. My suggestion: talk with her about what you would do naked together.

From our experience, being naked together in a safe environment like a nude resort, camp or beach is time well spent. By removing your bathing suit and trading it for your birthday suit, you’ll experience what I would call one of life’s biggest and often last emotional highs. Think about it? Your entire life you’ve been told to cover up and to hide your body and now you’re letting it out and showing it off. The irony is that you’ll find that you and your spouse will notice each other, but to everyone else, you’re just naked. Remember the only time you stand out at a nude or clothing optional location is when you’re wearing clothing. Not when you’re naked.

So what should you do when you and your spouse are naked for the first time together? Here is our official list of must do’s when you spend the day naked at a nude camp, resort or beach.

  1. Sunbath naked. This might seem like a no brainer, but until you’ve laid out on a pool chair or on a towel with your spouse and felt the sun’s rays warming your body, you really haven’t lived. To my wife and me, feeling warm all over is an amazing feeling and even better when we’re sitting next to one another.
  2. Go skinny dipping. There is something wonderful about swimming naked. Feeling the water embracing your body is magical.To me, skinny dipping really is the fountain of youth. I feel like I’m a teenager again. In a pool, lake or ocean, it all feels great. And there is something fantastic about jumping into the waves or into a pool with your spouse beside you.
  3. Picnic nude. Sitting out together at a picnic table or underneath a tree and enjoying a picnic lunch together remains a must do for us. I don’t know why, but this one of our favorite activities. Think about it. You’re enjoying food, talking and relaxing with your spouse and naked from head to foot. What could be better?
  4. Take a hike in the woods. I don’t know why but for me, I love walking and talking with my wife either on a road or  a trail in the forest and wearing only our shoes.  Many nudist locations are in the country and have trails to explore or roads to walk. Just remember a little bug spray will go along way.
  5. Have a beer. Liquid courage has convinced more than one worried wife to try taking it all off. For us, mimosas on the beach in the morning at a nude resort or an ice cold beer in the afternoon next to the pool is a must when we’re together naked on a hot, sunny day.
  6. Row, row, row your boat. While we’ve always wanted to try a nude cruise or nude sailing, one of our first nude experiences was in a canoe in Tahiti on our honeymoon. It was simple. While canoeing through a beautiful tropical lagoon, my wife removed her bikini top. I took off my bathing suit. She untied her bikini bottoms. That was it. We explored the lagoon together and didn’t put our suits back on all day.
  7. Take a walk on the beach. It doesn’t matter if it’s a crowded beach or if there is hardly anyone there. Walking the beach together in the buff is a must whenever we’re on vacation. There is just something about holding hands and walking together in the surf that makes a vacation.
  8. Shower outdoors. I would never have thought that showering together in an outdoor shower would make our list, but we both agreed, there is something familiar yet surprisingly different about showering outside. Think about it, most showers are small and confining. An outdoor shower is wide open. It’s not sexual. It’s cleansing and freeing.
  9. Take a naked nap. There is something so special to me to be so exposed yet feel so relaxed and safe that I fall asleep. A naked nap during the afternoon is a must and even better when you fall asleep next to or with your spouse.
  10. Strike up a naked conversation. You never know who you might meet on a nude beach, resort or camp. We’ve meet so many wonderful people. It’s funny how open and honest you are and the people you meet when you’re totally exposed and not hiding behind clothing. The best questions to ask? “Is this your first time here?” and “Where else have you and your spouse been naked?” You’ll find out a lot about great nude places to visit and other couples stories about their journeys into social nudity.

So what would you add to our list? What have you and your spouse done that you would recommend other couples try naked for the first time? Or if you and your spouse haven’t experienced a nude or clothing optional location together before, what do you want to do? I’d really like to hear your ideas. I’d also like to hear from women. Privacy will be maintained.  No names given. Just your ideas. 🙂

Notice I didn’t say anything about sex, touching or intimacy. Most people who have never been to a nudist location or a clothing optional setting, assume that nudity must lead to sex and/or physical intimacy. There is a place and a time for physical intimacy and a nudist location where there are other people, families and children present is not the place or the time. This will sound weird but it’s honestly one of the most non-sexual settings you’ll ever encounter. However, after spending time together naked all day, I will tell you that later that night in the privacy of our own home, we usually enjoy a wonderful and very physical time together. I believe, it is deeply intimate because of the time we spend together during the day.

Preparing to Get Naked: The Talk to Have Before Dropping Your Bikini Top or Swimsuit

Some nude beach can be the most beautiful places on Earth.
Some nude beach can be the most beautiful places on Earth.

Thank you to everyone who has visited our blog since October, 2013. My wife and I have taken a lot of nude vacations and getaways over the past 20 years and our goal for our blog is to remove any stigma or anxiety for couples interested in trying it and to be a good resource of what to expect.

While researching where to go for a clothing optional trip or first time nude sunbathing with your spouse experience can be fun, if you and your spouse haven’t discussed it first, you might be headed to couples counseling later. My opinion, the worst thing you can do is surprise your spouse by just showing up at a nude beach or clothing optional location and expect them to jump right in. Not a good idea at all. In fact, they may never want to go back. We saw a couple at a local nudist park and honestly thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown. She and her partner had clearly not discussed it before and I felt really bad for her and was glad when after an hour he put his clothes back on (she never removed her clothing) and left. I can only imagine the conversation in the car later. He was wrong for putting her through that and not making sure she was comfortable first.

So what do you do first before finding a beach like Haulover in Miami or a bed and breakfast with a fantastic clothing optional pool like the Green House Inn in New Orleans? Sit down and talk. Explain why you want to try this with them. Talk about why you want to experience a clothing optional setting and any doubts, concerns or anxieties you and they might have. Discuss it all, including any sexual concerns like what happens if he gets an erection (turn over, it will go away).

Now, your spouse might be as excited for the experience as you are and be onboard immediately, in which case planning and reading forums about the place, setting, etc. can be a lot of fun. Often your first nude experience is a vacation and who doesn’t like to go on vacation?

Chances are though, even if your spouse does want to go, they are a bit nervous and have reservations. That’s completely understandable. I know my wife and I both did. So let’s discuss this and share our observations and thoughts on the topic.

First a little history. When I was growing up, I had gone skinny dipping a few times. I loved the feeling of swimming naked and being nude in the sun. It felt great to be warm all over (a feeling I still enjoy 25 year later). I did this a few times but always alone at a small lake near my home. I knew it was something I enjoyed and skinny dipping with others was something I wanted to try. My wife also had gone skinny dipping with friends (girls and boys) when she was in high school late at night one summer. She laughed telling me about it because she remembers it looked like she and all of her girlfriends weren’t actually naked but instead wearing glowing white bikinis from their tan lines.  Later in college, she took a trip to Europe and went to a topless beach but was too intimidated to shed her top with all of her friends around.  That was it for both of us. Neither one of us could be called a nudist (then or now).

Fast forward a few months before our wedding and honeymoon to Tahiti. I mentioned to my wife (then girlfriend) that she could go topless on our honeymoon and that I would like to try to find a place where we could go skinny dipping or even sunbathe nude. This is when we had our talk.

She told me she loved the idea of us finding a place to go skinny dipping with me but sunbathing nude or even skinny dipping with people around us made her uncomfortable because other people would see her.  I told her that I understood her concerns and that I didn’t know how I felt about other people seeing me or her naked but that my desire to see “how it felt” was important to me. I wanted to be naked, outside with her. While I didn’t know it at the time, this was a turning point for us.

Key point here is that we talked and discussed why we wanted to experience this and what fears/anxieties we had. Later, when we went to Tahiti, my wife was topless most of the time there. She loved it. And I loved watching her sunbathe, swim and walk without her bikini top on. I never realized that this could be a turn on to me, but it was.

I did some online research and was amazed at how many men asked for tips on how to get their wives to try topless or nude sunbathing.  Many women, like my wife said originally, were uncomfortable of people looking at them naked. A few women also said that they would like to try topless sunbathing but their husbands were super protective of other men looking at them while clothed, let alone naked.

Based on these very real concerns, here is our advice. Ask your wife or husband to give it a try and see if they can become comfortable. Plan to go to a clothing optional beach or bed and breakfast and let them know they can shed as much or as little as they want to with no pressure from you. Do not go to a nude resort where you are required to be naked. This can be very intimidating and I’ve seen it work out badly when trying to introduce social nudity to someone who is not ready for it.  The experience should be comfortable not scary. You might be a little anxious. That’s normal but not uncomfortable.

After a while, your wife may take off her bikini top or swimsuit or your husband might relax and realize that others there might give a pleasant nod but rarely will someone stare. It really doesn’t happen and if it does, you have ever right to put your clothes back on. The key here is being comfortable and doing things slowly.  Your wife may feel great sunbathing without her top on, but want to put it back on when she swims or walks on the beach. Your husband might be fine naked on his stomach but be completely uncomfortable sitting up or laying on this back. Do what feels right.  After a while it will feel very natural and right. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. This may not be a couples activity you can do.

Your wife or husband may decide they never want to be naked outside of your home but that they’re comfortable with you sunbathing nude. We’ve seen this at beaches many times. He will be naked but she is wearing a bikini or she is topless but wearing the smallest thong bikini bottom ever seen. Or she is naked but he is wearing his swimsuit. I’ve covered our experiences with first time social nudity in several of our blog posts already. I encourage you to read them again.

I do want to call attention to one point I saw mentioned several times in online forums on the topic of asking your husband/wife to go naked for the first time. There are people who believe if you truly love your spouse, that you would never want anyone to see them naked. That you are wrong for asking them to show their bodies to the world and perverted for being naked and wanting them to be naked with you. I saw comments like this in many forums. If your spouse shares this opinion, this may not be an option for you.

Please let us know what questions or concerns you have. I will tell you that our time together naked on a beach or at a resort has been wonderful. For us, it’s about being completely relaxed and comfortable. When we first went nude together many years ago, we were comfortable but not relaxed. It takes time. And it can be a stimulating experience for you both but not at the time. Later, in the privacy of your bedroom. Social nudity as we have described it is not overtly sexual. There is a right time and place and it’s not at a public beach or resort, but in privacy later.

Talk to your spouse and see what they think. Summer will be here before we know it.  Let us know your questions. We’ll do our best to share insights. Good luck.